Saturday, 26 June 2010

Second bite

The Magpie Tales toothbrush came at a bad time. So much guilt. If I’d known I could live this long I would have taken better care of my teeth! This picture is of a foot pedal operated drill, similar to the one used by my first dentist who visited my school to see to the teeth of poorer students. See the notice explaining its use and imagine a dentist jigging around, pedalling energetically while trying to perform delicate caries removal in the small mouth of an eight year old. That was me. The eight year old, not the dentist!

In case you were wondering, he stuffed up and had to remove four teeth. Then he sent me back to class with a note that I should be sent home. What they all forgot was that our farm was four miles away and there was no transport, so in the heat of sunmer I walked home with a mouth full of bloody cotton wool. Mum was not happy. She hated me missing lessons!

Many many years later, only two years ago I lost my first permanent tooth, a very expensive root canalled/gold capped molar that had reached its use-by-date, and was offered a referral to a specialist who could do an implant for $5,000. Although I could have scraped it together, I put it off, knowing I could never afford a second one, and barring my prior demise, would finish up with one implant standing ‘like a tombstone in a ghost town!’

I digress to tell you that a four year old once told me, oh so seriously, that a cemetery is: ‘A place where dead people live.’ I assure you I did not laugh… not until later.

So with three teeth suddenly giving me merry hell, crunch time has arrived. Now there is no choice. Dentures it will be. So, I will talk to Dr Dan on Monday and arrange an end to the pain as soon as possible. Wish me luck and join me in thanking science for anaesthetic!

(Pic from Wiki)


  1. Strange, a friend of mine had a similar story just last week. The dentist told him it would cost $7,000 US$ for a dental implant.
    Yike! What a terrible expense!
    Good luck next week with Dr. Dan...

  2. Its nearly worth flying to some country with cheap dental care! Thanks for reminding me to brush!Four miles with four missing teeth! poor you!

  3. Sorry and good luck with Dr. Dan!!


  4. oh man... four teeth and they tell you to walk home?!? grrrrrrr (or maybe have we all gone soft. hmmm. No, I don't think so.)

    Good luck with the dentures.

  5. You poor bastard. That would make a good short story Stafford if you could flesh it out a bit. Things have improved out of sight in the dentistry arena, except the public system still has a lot of catching up to do. My brother has no teeth at all and manages without them - after months of fittings etc. he got a new set of falsies from the dentist and he hated them so much that in a fit of rage and drunken stupidity, he destroyed them.

  6. Good poor 8 year old...4 miles!
    Why that's heartbreaking....would make a good short story I agree
    But for to ya...take every drug they offer....and then go to bed when you get home...
    See what happens when you write couplets

  7. Be sure to feast on one last pork chop before the chop. Poor bastard you.

    Hey - look at all that Magpie stuff going on. Well done you. Woo hoo.


  8. Oh, no, no, don't have them all pulled!! I can't bear the thought.

  9. just get a bridge...don't have all pulled! ouchy ouchy....

  10. Back for a quick visit.
    Thanks for the concern everyone. Dentist talked me into root therapy (Aussies allowed to laugh) on most important tooth. Others still there for now. More treatment later. Will report if you are interested. Feeling much more comfortable, thank you. XX

  11. Hang in there ' Captain Stafford '
    Show em the good old ' Strong Stuff', we know you are made of -
    When it's over, you'll be able to show em the old ' Razzle Dazzle Smile ' again...

  12. I have a partial upper denture, and over the years I have tried various kinds. If you ever get to the point at which you need one, check out Valplast dentures -- much more comfortable and less expensive than the metal and porcelain kind. And you can buy (online) soft liner material to line them when they get loose. Just a thought.

  13. Wicked Stafford 'What a Tease '
    Yes! * THIS * Aussie *IS * Laughin ' .. U Got Me
    Tis Tempting !.. Oh So Tempting !.. So Sad !
    You should know better than to ' Throw Me A Line Like That..
    Tis A ' Cruel Ting Ye Be Doin Cap'n
    Will I ? ... Won't I ... Better Not

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