Friday, 11 June 2010

Boom boom! in Buckinham Palace


George was nothing like his brother. Edward had the advantage of 'knowing' Mrs Simpson, a divorcee who could show him what went where. With war brewing and Mr Hitler rolling his tanks around Europe in his version of ethnic cleansing, poor stuttering, bed wetting George was pushed onto the throne. He had two lovely girls but seemed to have stopped breeding. The country needed sons and he was advised to ‘get cracking’ as the saying goes.

Of course no well bred Englishman would express such an idea as crassly as we colonials would, like 'Listen George, old mate, you need to dip the wick, hide the frankfurt, let go the legless lizard, you know, get old Liz up the duff!'

But his advisors did get the message through eventually.
'I-I'm not sure I can,' Geo VI stammered, excruciatingly embarrassed. 'I-I can't seem to get it up!'
His advisor thought for a bit then whispered his advice.

Next day, there on his desk in his coronation mug sat a brace of sharpened pencils.
'What are they for?' asked the advisor. 'They weren't there yesterday.’
'N-no', said George, 'I rang the palace shop and told them what you said I needed and they sent them up.’ He looked puzzled. ‘I don't see how they can help.'

'No, of course not,’ laughed the advisor. ‘I didn't say you needed more lead pencils, I said you needed more lead in your pencil!'


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24 comments:

  1. Good one, Stafford. It made me giggle :)

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  2. In Thailand that kind of irreverence about the king would land you in jail.....where you'd at least have more time for writing, I suppose!

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  3. I like the way you went with it, very inventive. Made me laugh. Thank you. :-)

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  4. Brilliant. I've got the biggest smile plastered all over my face!

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  5. shame on you making fun of the English ;-) lol brilliant :-))

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  6. Indeed, George can sharpen his writing/drawing pencil (ah, well leaded or not) all he pleases and without it's soulmate -- inspiration -- the blank page will remain.

    From a drawing, George saw a list of materials -- another saw a 'place'

    ..

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  7. LOL! Love the euphimisms (I actually said them in my head with a British accent). Clever!

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  8. ** WARNING! .. WARNING! **
    ROYAL KAMIKAZE CORGIES ON RADAR! !

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  9. Bwahahahaha! You have a unique take on these Magpie Tales prompts.

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  10. Heh Heh! You've captured history and fun in this prompt! You do make me laugh!

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  11. Just got back from my weekend of slavery with IXL and found these lovely comments! For the record, of all the 'Royals' I had most respect for George VI and Elizabeth, who stayed on in London through the blitz, working to encourage their people, and of course the present queen. After that.... well some could have done better.

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  12. a little wicked magpie...got anymore like that...he he

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  13. 2B .. or not ..2B
    A Pencil With Little Lead
    A King and Queen
    Their ' Heiry ' Dream
    Tis Said .. No Lead! .. No Bed!

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  14. that's just "bloody" funny!

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  15. I'm with you on the Royals, Stafford. I can't imagine what Great Britain will be like once the present queen passes on.

    Good, funny story, by the way!

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  16. Thanks Meleah, mission accomplished.
    Yes Suz, well,I hope so!
    Zany, Ha ha!
    Showme, thanks for YOUR sense of humour.
    Catalyst, yes. I can't see Austalia going one more round of Royals unless Wills turns up trumps.

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  17. Oh you droll and wicked man. You put George to the blush, yet again,

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  18. Didn't expect that. Got a good laugh out of it! Well done.

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  19. loved this piece; quaintly wicked.
    rel

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  20. Fabulous. Poor George, he really did cop it, didn't he? I love your sense of humour!

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