The Lute Player. (a playlet).
Scene: A banquet.
Cast of Characters (from left)
Mr Beardtrim Ubergutz.
Cyril Toad'stool (waiter)
Monocle Mick (pawnbroker)
Bluebell Bandy (Mick’s transgender friend)
Lute Player (whose name nobody wants to know because he is not a celeb).
Directors note:
All characters are ventriloquists so there is no need for movement.
The Lute Player is still having trouble getting his pinkie to hold down the A in a Bm7.
The plastic fowl should not be eaten.
Act One and Only.
Lute Player: (singing) ‘O Beautiful maiden/ I’ve loved you forever/ Come I beseech thee… ‘ (looks desperate) wait, wait… almost there…
Bluebell: (whisper) Mickey! Hands off! Cyril is watching!
Mick: Who me?
Cyril: Would you like fries with that?
Beardtrim: (aside to audience) All we need now to is a starving university student selling single roses and a bloody photographer!
Curtain.
See Magpie Tales for more inspiring works of art and chicken recipes.
Posts
'the playlet's the thing' ... you do the Bard proud.
ReplyDeleteI can't see to type. Tears streaming from Beardtrim Obergutz....giggle.
ReplyDeletelol.....wait, wait, almost there!.....Did you hear that? I got it!
ReplyDeleteStafford, this by far is the best night out I've had in ages...!
Performed to rapturous applause!
ReplyDeleteOr should that be rupturous?
What fun! thanks for visiting-
ReplyDeleteNote: Tess did not misread Ubergutz' name. Merkel called and pointed out my error, since corrected.
ReplyDeleteLena, I have no idea what you mean!
Bwahahahaha, gigglesnort :) That Bm7 is a bastard isn't it, and I also advise against eating plastic fowl.
ReplyDeleteLOL...I love your humor! This is fantastic! Very, very clever.
ReplyDeleteStafford,
ReplyDeleteNext you'll be writing for SaturdayNight Live.
rel
gut busting funny!
ReplyDeleteA hilarious freak show! Like a new wave of music hall!
ReplyDeleteInspiring works of art and chicken recipes! Who could ask for anything more?
ReplyDeleteThe look on Bluebells face says exactly that!
ReplyDeleteThank you Stafford. I was going to write a Magpie#67 play. Must admit . . yours is great. Achingly funny. (Exits stage left, sulking, for a re-think)
ReplyDeleteYou've captured the scene excellently well :-)
ReplyDeleteHow very clever!
ReplyDeleteYes, it does appear each one has a part to play.
ReplyDeleteWho could resist these laughs!! I did a bard movie too...hmmm..love yours..
ReplyDeleteI am too tired...burnt out...but I am enjoying your play.
ReplyDeleteGreat fun!
ReplyDeleteAs always, highly entertaining. There should be more plays like this :)
ReplyDeleteHi Stafford~ I wrote a play, too! I have to admit, though, that yours takes the prize! Funny, erudite, a period piece. And all the characters are ventriloquists so the one painting works throughout! Bravo from the first tier balcony!
ReplyDeleteOnly You Stafford !...Only You !
ReplyDeleteDavid Williamson Eat Your Heart Out !
What a comedian! Boy was I way off on this one. I'm still smiling.
ReplyDeleteM O R E !
ReplyDeleteStafford - I love your take on this. Brill - what more can I say?
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Bravo, bravo!!
ReplyDeletebest play i've read in a while. will the movie be in 3D?
ReplyDeleteYou sure brought that bunch of oddballs to life! This was just great and so much fun. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are very funny, I thoroughly enjoyed this and it was very unique!
ReplyDeleteIt took me a long time to get here, but it's bloody brilliant, and worth the trip! LOL :)
ReplyDeleteReminiscent of university Foot Light clubs! Wonderful - can't stop laughing.
ReplyDeletehahahah... (unable to control giggles)..
ReplyDeleteFriggin' awesome!!! Beardtrim's character sure had some sense of humor.. ;))