Monday, 3 October 2011

Magpie Tales of airborne pachyderms.

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No matter how much you might try
To launch yourself into the sky.
You share the name ‘Jumbo’
With jets, silly Dumbo;
But they need four engines to fly!

Q: What does one do when an elephant is flying overhead?
A: Raise your umbrella.
Wait! There's more. 
Q: What has twenty-two legs, two wings and eleven arseholes?
A: Arsenal!
And... and... apropos of nothing, but to balance that weak effort,
Q: What has one eye, three legs and half an arsehole.
A: Lobster thermidor.
I will stop now before I offend myself. (Or feel inclined to react to the suggestion of climate change: coal fired power stations and sea level rise and the plight of elephants whose million year history will end because they cannot fly away.)


More classy contributions can be sighted at Magpie Tales.


20 comments:

  1. Oh, gone on, offend yourself. Your readers will find it marvelously entertaining. As for blogger destroying your comments, it has happened to me so often that I either write quickly, or else I write them in another program and paste them over.

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  2. Stafford,
    May be add two more legs and an arsehole. No just an arsehole! That is how many of the coaches view Arsene Wenger (I bet many of the other players as well!)

    Hank

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  3. Hank is right of course, now we have coaches, interchange players on the bench, etc, etc... too many arseholes to count!

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  4. Stafford . . . marvelously funny. Have you ever noticed that "Arsene Wenger" anagrams to "New Green Arse"?

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  5. oh your last comment....that is the true magpie

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  6. hummm... there is that imagination! You always have a particular way to look at things.

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  7. funny stuff, but you wrapped it up perfectly with that serious last line warning!

    Rick

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  8. deep thoughts on the image,

    creative and fun magpie.

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  9. I would love to hear elephants telling jokes to each other ... they have a beautiful language all their own! I can imagine you understanding it.

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  10. oh but offend us and go after the enviro issues as well...its not global warming just too many arseholes

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  11. Brian Miller! You take the 'Classiest Comment' Award, and to the Poms, enjoy watching the Wallabies win the Rugby!

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  12. Bwahahahahahaha - better to laugh than cry

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  13. too many arseholes indeed...we're all dun(g) in aren't we?

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  14. Stoppit! We can't have the comments being funnier than the post!

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  15. Power to the man who can make us all laugh while being so serious....

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  16. Poem and comments are pure entertainment!

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  17. You remain prince of jesters,
    and yet you slip in the serious
    issues when are literary guard
    is down, our eyes are closed,
    our guts clenched in laughter,
    and yes, your last lines are
    the keepers, the zingers, the
    truth covered in treacle.
    Good on you for having the
    courage to sail your yacht
    to Sidney. Hope you take
    a computer with you, and
    a satellite link. Hate to think
    you will miss the last scenes
    in my cinemagenic opus.

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