Perfect infant
Born to children
Too soon.
Innocent prodigy
In adult world
Too soon
Making choices
Taking chances
Too soon
Addicted, lost,
Choices gone
Too soon
Stolen life
Ended today
Too soon,
Too soon.
PS. Replaced Julie's photo of the homeless man with David, about 12 at a gig, and a recent one taken by a family member.
Thanks Julie.
Yep, as a labor and delivery nurse, Peggy sees much of what you're writing about.
ReplyDeleteHe was 51 but most were hard years, hardest for him.
DeleteI will miss seeing David on the inner city streets, Stafford. My thoughts are with you, as you invariably trawl through the tough years you had with him. It is not meant to work like this, life. Take care, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI think it is David you were seeing, but somehow I hope your homeless man is there next time you pass by.
DeleteOH !!!
ReplyDeleteNO ! NO ! NO ! NO ! NO ! NO ! NO ! NO ! NO !
MY HEART IS SO HEAVY FOR THIS * POOR BOY * AND FOR YOU * DEAR STAFFORD *
Thanks Rob, of course you knew him and know how tragic it all is.
Deleteperfect infant
ReplyDeletehow heartbreaking
I don't know who this is, but he must have been loved by you or cared about
so sorry for your pain dear Stafford
Thanks Suz, he was my eldest and was loved indeed.
DeleteHow tragic and sad for everyone involved. So sorry for your loss and pain Stafford. Life sux sometimes, that's for sure. I'm at the end of the email if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteThanks GB, I am leaving all the arrangements to his sister and daughter... they need to keep busy. I'm OK, I recognise what I am feeling is grief and know it ends some time, although it is hard to believe there is an end to it while it is happening!
DeleteOh Stafford - as soon as I read this I knew without looking at the other comments.
ReplyDeleteTerribly sorry.
Thank you Jane, take care.
DeleteDear Stafford,
ReplyDeleteI often think about, and fear the idea of losing our own before our time. I also feel sad for stolen lives, without saying too much, we all have our regrets.
I feel for you and hope you sail through this difficult period.
This is what life is, the highs and lows, much like the tides of the sea.
Yes Ninot, we are not equipped for losing our children and about regrets; we can all find memories of choices we made that were pivotal and in retrospect, wrong. I have plenty.
DeleteThe final snap of your broken heart
ReplyDeleteBroken and shattered for 30 years
You were his lifeline. No one else. In the small hours when he was afraid it gave him comfort to say the words "I love you dad".
You can rest your heart now. Let it mend.
For the monster that owned him has also gone to rest.
And I love you too.
DeleteYou have my deepest sypathies. Life is such a precious commodity - it must be terribly hard to cope ...
ReplyDeleteThanks Jackie, others have much more to cope with than I do, and I do have three other children to support me and they are, as I support them.
Deletei am sorry stafford...got an email this morning that told me and thought i would stop in and just drop off a hug...regardless of those choices he was still your son...and that is hard for sure...
ReplyDeletehugs man
Thanks for the wishes Brian. Many of those choices were not his to make at the age he made them. I was so proud of his talent I was not 'watching his back'. I did not suspect for a minute other adults in the industry would think it OK or even funny to get him into heroin.
DeleteThis might be a good place to remind parents there are the thoughtless and the predatory all around us that will take advantage of an unguarded child. There aren't many, thank goodness, but we need to be watchful, listen to them and ask those questions that let them know we care and are aware.
Deleteoh Stafford - my deepest sympathies to you-how so very very sad. When I see what I call the "walking wounded" I always look at them and say to myself-these were babies once upon a time and were loved and cherished and my heart always breaks a bit.
ReplyDeleteOf course, knowing what I know, I feel the same. Most have a mental illness or as IXL said above, they are taken over by a force, in his case addiction, that is too strong for their damaged wills to overcome.
DeleteIn a free society there is not much we can do except offer facilities for rehabilitation, keep up the encouragement and hope. He had all that, but didn't make it. However, even in the worst days, he was so enthusiastic about his music! Our times together were mostly spent with him playing me his favourite music on his i-pod and giving me his expert commentary. At those times he was still the teenager that wowed us all with his genius.
I am terribly sad for you Stafford. He was your boy ..... no matter what. I am so sorry you have lost him. Sending you all my sympathies and many, many hugs. xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteYes Selma, he was my boy no matter what and I knew that even the lifestyle he (I was about to say led, but he was not leading, he was following) fell back into in the end had its good parts. He had friends we loved among the homeless and often spoke of them, some surprisingly educated and some with impressive histories of past achievements. They were the people he spent his time with, talking, joking and unfortunately, drinking.
DeleteHe had beaten heroin and even came off methadone unaided, but alcohol was a bridge too far. A lesson here for all of us 'social' drinkers, I guess.
(((stafford)))
ReplyDeleteThanks. I can read between the parentheses.
Deleteit is heartening to know you do what you do to champion the less fortunate. He was one too.
Please accept sincere condolences from me and my family, Stafford. Our thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.
ReplyDeleteThanks Martin, your support is appreciated.
ReplyDeleteThank you Stafford for sharing during a time that must be very very difficult. My daughters are young and I will try to look out for them. But we can never be too careful.
ReplyDeleteYou are a citizen of the world, you know. And we are here, in this special corner, together.
Stafford,
ReplyDeleteFor you:
http://poemsbyninotaziz.blogspot.com/2012/03/to-genius-i-never-knew.html
A beautiful tribute Ninot and thank you. He was a prodigy, some say a genius, but genius is not enough. What drives a person to such brilliance is a clearer vision of perfection, Unfortunately for most, their goal of perfection stays just out of reach and for some who invest everything in that quest, self doubt destroys them.
DeleteToo soon, Stafford, too soon. I am so very sorry. A parent's worst nightmare. We try so hard to keep them safe when they are small. Little do we know that when they get big, there are far more frightening dangers that they might choose themselves, that we cant combat. I have feared the loss of a grown child many times, when one or the other of my kids was tethered lightly to this earth.
ReplyDeleteI am sending you compassion and support as you walk through these very difficult days. May the warmth of this online community support and comfort you in the months ahead.
p.s. the photo of him drumming gets to me. I also have a wildly talented son, who played drums when he was that age. He was stricken with schizophrenia at seventeen and now lives in a psychiatric group home where he composes classical music you would not believe, that sounds like Mozart. But with his affliction, he is too fragmented for his talent to come to fruition. No one hears his masterpieces but me.
ReplyDeleteSo I sort of know, Stafford, some of the pain you are feeling.
There seems to be a more than casual connection between genius and some mental illnesses. Einstein, Mozart, Newton, maybe Van Gough are now thought to have had Aspergers syndrome. One of my closest has schizophrenia but with medication and careful management of exposure to stress, she is being extremely successful in life and achievements.
DeleteIf your son can perform his pieces, perhaps they could be recorded?
There are even computer programs that convert recordings to printed music and of course, people can too.
My sympathy to you as well, Stafford.
ReplyDeleteThanks mate.
DeleteOh Stafford....my heart hurts so deeply for your loss. You have taken the time to share so much with me of your son and what you have been through. I understand the road you have been on. Our children are always our children in our heart....no matter how old they are. This is too soon for any parent. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers Stafford. (I wish I could hug you across the blogosphere.)
ReplyDeleteA real hug might be impossible, but the warmth reaches me nonetheless.
DeleteI came back to read. I have been so busy lately, haven't been on the computer much. I am so sorry. We have to allow them their path, even when we see it isn't going to go well. So much danger in this world. My sister lost her son too soon. There is much sorrow in this world. I was told once, thank goodness for you, in your son's life and I am sure thank goodness for you in your son't life. Love matters... my heart reaches for you.
ReplyDelete