No matter how much you might try
To launch yourself into the sky.
You share the name ‘Jumbo’
With jets, silly Dumbo;
But they need four engines to fly!
Q: What does one do when an elephant is flying overhead?
A: Raise your umbrella.
Wait! There's more.
Q: What has twenty-two legs, two wings and eleven arseholes?
A: Arsenal!
And... and... apropos of nothing, but to balance that weak effort,
Q: What has one eye, three legs and half an arsehole.
A: Arsenal!
And... and... apropos of nothing, but to balance that weak effort,
Q: What has one eye, three legs and half an arsehole.
A: Lobster thermidor.
I will stop now before I offend myself. (Or feel inclined to react to the suggestion of climate change: coal fired power stations and sea level rise and the plight of elephants whose million year history will end because they cannot fly away.)
More classy contributions can be sighted at Magpie Tales.
I will stop now before I offend myself. (Or feel inclined to react to the suggestion of climate change: coal fired power stations and sea level rise and the plight of elephants whose million year history will end because they cannot fly away.)
More classy contributions can be sighted at Magpie Tales.
Oh, gone on, offend yourself. Your readers will find it marvelously entertaining. As for blogger destroying your comments, it has happened to me so often that I either write quickly, or else I write them in another program and paste them over.
ReplyDeleteStafford,
ReplyDeleteMay be add two more legs and an arsehole. No just an arsehole! That is how many of the coaches view Arsene Wenger (I bet many of the other players as well!)
Hank
Hank is right of course, now we have coaches, interchange players on the bench, etc, etc... too many arseholes to count!
ReplyDeleteStafford . . . marvelously funny. Have you ever noticed that "Arsene Wenger" anagrams to "New Green Arse"?
ReplyDeleteoh your last comment....that is the true magpie
ReplyDeletehummm... there is that imagination! You always have a particular way to look at things.
ReplyDeletefunny stuff, but you wrapped it up perfectly with that serious last line warning!
ReplyDeleteRick
deep thoughts on the image,
ReplyDeletecreative and fun magpie.
I would love to hear elephants telling jokes to each other ... they have a beautiful language all their own! I can imagine you understanding it.
ReplyDeleteoh but offend us and go after the enviro issues as well...its not global warming just too many arseholes
ReplyDeleteBrian Miller! You take the 'Classiest Comment' Award, and to the Poms, enjoy watching the Wallabies win the Rugby!
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahaha - better to laugh than cry
ReplyDeletetoo many arseholes indeed...we're all dun(g) in aren't we?
ReplyDeleteStoppit! We can't have the comments being funnier than the post!
ReplyDeletePower to the man who can make us all laugh while being so serious....
ReplyDeleteI love it!
ReplyDeletePoem and comments are pure entertainment!
ReplyDeletefab!
ReplyDeleteYou remain prince of jesters,
ReplyDeleteand yet you slip in the serious
issues when are literary guard
is down, our eyes are closed,
our guts clenched in laughter,
and yes, your last lines are
the keepers, the zingers, the
truth covered in treacle.
Good on you for having the
courage to sail your yacht
to Sidney. Hope you take
a computer with you, and
a satellite link. Hate to think
you will miss the last scenes
in my cinemagenic opus.